ruth\’s megillah

forever a stranger 5 Sep 06

once known, there is a question at every turn.

If you are thinking of converting and stumbled across this blog on your late night surfing of the internet. I know I am not the first to say it. It is not an easy journey. I do not regret for one moment the choice I made, as difficult as it seems at times; as painful as it has been for family members (and the stress it causes me when they are ill). I do not recommend it for you. Be prepared for pain.

(more…)

it hurts 18 Jul 06

Israel, my heart is with you.

. . .

Many of my husband’s relatives and neighbors have married in the past couple of years.

We were invited to ONE wedding out of, say 15, opportunities (a.k.a. my husband’s parents were invited and attended).

I am not sure why, but it hurts. I see some of these people in shops and such and they walk by me as if I don’t exist.

Even my inlaws claimed surprise that invitations were not extended to include us. I’m convinced it’s me. What am I doing wrong?

Right. That’s helping lots of things.

יהושע בן פרחיה וניתאי הארבלי קיבלו מהם יהושע בן פרחיה אומר עשה לך רב וקנה לך חבר והוי דן את כל האדם לכף זכות
. . .
Choose yourself a mentor;
Acquire yourself a friend;
And make it your habit to judge every person favorably.
~Yehoshua ben Perachia (pirkei avos 1:6)

I am trying. I am trying.

for news… 14 Jul 06

Jameel and ynet

update: (sun 07.16.06) orthomom posted this post of links.

A gut voch, may it be one of PEACE

I should have posted this yesterday… or months ago…

three weeks & quiet 14 Jul 06

Today was a fast day and the start of the three weeks. I’d provide links but I’m just not in the mood. The whole situation in Israrel … I don’t know what to say or how to say it, but in a sad way it’s helping me focus on these three weeks and tisha b’av..

thus refection, and silence. [it’s also a busy summer for me, b’H .. I don’t really have much time to do what I wanted learning-wise and here. if anyone has suggestions for balancing learning (even a solid 5 min), husband, works, and household I am open]

me..me.. 29 Jun 06

projgen tagged me for this meme… and I see we have some similar responses!

Seven Things I’d Like to Do Before I Die:

1. Visit Israel
2. Speak better Hebrew
3. Stop feeling that as a convert I’m a second-class citizen within Jewry and be treated with respect by my community. I would like for when someone learns of my ‘journey’ they don’t a) ask me why i did it. or b) immediately assume i know nothing about judaism and start defining every word they use.
4. Read and understand all the words of the entire Torah b’ivrit
5. Keep my work spaces clean for longer than 30 minutes
6. Be able to devote more time to learning Torah
7. Plan a proper week of meals

Seven Things I Can’t Do:

1. Speak with my father. He passed away when I was little
2. Plan a proper week of meals. For seven lunches, dinners, and breakfast.
3. Grow taller (I’m near 5′)
4. Keep houseplants alive for longer than 3 months
5. Enjoy the telephone.
6. Ride a bike comfortably with lots of car-traffic.
7. Swim. Which is amusing as I grew up near the water and my father was a lifeguard from a very young age. [note, i am not afraid to swim in the water, I can dog paddle all day, I just do not know any “proper” swim strokes]

Seven Things That Attracted Me to My Partner:

1. His kindness
2. How he listens to me and treats me as an equal.
3. His infinite supply of patience and understanding
4. He vacuums.
5. He irons.
6. He has great fashion and people sense.
7. His care for others, through giving tzeddekah or otherwise

Seven Books That I Love:

1. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett — a family friend gave me this in a beautiful hard cover when I was 10 or so. I think I read it monthly for the next many many years. I still read it often.
2. Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card — I didn’t learn of this until University …
3. Ayn Rand — I enjoyed both The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged
4. Mercedes Lackey — Valdemar series is amazing
5. Anne McCaffrey — Pern is amazing
6. James Michener — Chesapeake was the first of his works that I read. I found all of his novels quite fascinating. I have a very soft spot for historical fiction.
7. The Torah, Neviim, Ketuvim — with soft spots for any parts featuring amazing women

Seven Movies I Watch Over and Over:
I don’t watch many movies. I never have…

1. Star Wars. Original only.
2. This one version of the Secret Garden … I’ll try to get details. My mum has the VHS

Seven People I Want to Tag:
Ok, I don’t have any people who haven’t recently done this meme, so if you feel inspired feel free!

disturbing uniforms 19 May 06

ynet news on Iranian Uniform Law

I am shuddering from the thoughts of this. This is not my preferred term (or use) of uniforms. My heart breaks for the other minorities being forced to wear red (Christains) and blue (Persian). Idon’t know what to say. I am saddened that I don’t know what to do. I feel the same way with the child abuse scandal. With many other problems. How can I take action?

I must admit that a large part of me wants to either stick my head in the sand (when the weather is nice) or hide under a rock (for the recent weather). I don’t want to believe that all of this is happening. This sort of thing is *not* really what I was intending on covering in this “uniforms” series (nor did I want to write the other post. EVER. but I digress). I must state that I think I was trying to arrive at the following. There is a disturbing reality of being “ignored” by a certain community if one does not subscribe to the community’s uniform (hat, shaitel, kollel, shirt color, tablecloth). I agree one could (and perhaps SHOULD) be viewed as an “outsider” but that is not a good method to completely ignore the outsider in the hopes that he or she goes away or completely conforms to your ‘standards’ without making any effort to assist them make that decision. (see ostrich and rock methods above)

I think.

I’m going to go crawl under the covers.

abuse in the community 18 May 06

UPDATE I’ll just update this with all the links I’m finding. It’s much easier this way. I also did a no no and changed the title of the post. DEAL. It’s my blog.

1. New York Magazine article
2. angrysoul (found via dovbear) talks about his abuse.
3. orthomom see also here
4. dovbear (beware of the length of the comment thread) [he has others, just go look: here, here, here, here, and here (i think i screwed up the order, does it really matter?) ]
5. ren reb [a very very well written and tempered post. i agree with everything, including the reminder that it *strong* is an illness]

I don’t know what else to say other than wanting to scream and puke. I would try to tear people’s eyes and throats out from anger of so many knowing and no one doing but as no one did anything that point is moot (they must not have seen nor been able to say).

I have been drafting this post for ages. I think you should just go read the other posts linked from here. I’m going to try to refrain from putting my head through a wall.

It was quoted in the NY Magazine article, but i must include it here (as it was quoted there):

“He who saves one life is like saving the world. That’s what the Torah says.”

unrelated note: I am aware quite a few people know who I am. I will thus not be posting many topics I was planning on. Thank you and have a nice day.

uniforms #2 16 May 06

last night my husband assisted me in picking out a nice outfit to wear today. it took a bit as i didn’t just want to wear a black skirt… nothing really seemed to go together. he seemed frustrated about it. i have tried to build as easy to mix and match as i can..

this morning he woke, showered, and grabbed a suit (he doesn’t own plain black on principle), as he was feeling groggy he took a white shirt (he rarely wears plain white), and then took a tie — with a theme for the weather. took out his shoes, added a belt and bam! he was dressed.

i know then men’s dress is really much more complicated. so many factors are considered: the cut of a jacket, to wear or not to wear a plain black suit, which type of yamulke…

i know that hats are a big deal. we’re not a hat family.

but it’s still so much simpler. i’m trying to have that type of wardrobe, but people don’t want to see me in a navy or black skirt/suit all the time. i tried that at the office for a year. one day i arrived in a different skirt that had been hanging in my closet for years and EVERYONE from my boss to the mail clerk commented on how nice i looked. i thought i looked nice most days…

[this post really isn’t related to judaism at all. it’s just a male/female thing. i do know of women who have a “uniform” of sorts, but i still don’t think they have that type of mix and match — or even wear the same thing all week and just change your tie — versatility. please, someone correct me if i’m wrong and help me rebuild a decent wardrobe]