Comments on: forever a stranger http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/ why should ester have all the fun? Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:56:27 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: scarletwaltz http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/#comment-1651 scarletwaltz Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:56:27 +0000 http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/#comment-1651 add me up, cheyenne,scarletwaltz.wordpress.com...leave some comment also..thanks add me up, cheyenne,scarletwaltz.wordpress.com…leave some comment also..thanks

]]> By: Vesper http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/#comment-1630 Vesper Thu, 19 Jun 2008 01:51:30 +0000 http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/#comment-1630 Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation :) Anyway ... nice blog to visit. cheers, Vesper. Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation :) Anyway … nice blog to visit.

cheers, Vesper.

]]> By: Alex http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/#comment-994 Alex Wed, 02 May 2007 14:46:55 +0000 http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/#comment-994 Hi Please consider writing news pieces or an op-ed for Jewrusalem: Israeli Uncensored News. We strive to present different views and opinions while rejecting political correctness. Ideally, we try to make the news "smart and funny." Thus, your input is very welcome. Best, Alex www.jewrusalem.net/en Hi

Please consider writing news pieces or an op-ed for Jewrusalem: Israeli Uncensored News. We strive to present different views and opinions while rejecting political correctness. Ideally, we try to make the news “smart and funny.” Thus, your input is very welcome.

Best,
Alex
http://www.jewrusalem.net/en

]]> By: observer http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/#comment-327 observer Wed, 15 Nov 2006 05:41:55 +0000 http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/#comment-327 Hi Ruth, I am sorry because you seem hurt, but...aren't you being paranoid a little bit? A convert to Judaism is not called a Jew ( there is no doubdt he is), but a Ger, there is nothing wrong with being a stranger, but it seems that you expect everyone to treat you as a local and you want them to TOTALY forget you status. You are lucky, you are Avrohom aveinu's chosen daughter, you are different and you should embrace it and not feel inferior by it! Part of the conversion deal is that no matter what happens there will be ALWAYS people who never consider you a Jewess, if you went through gerut you should be strong enough to reaise that it is just the way it is, it is sad, not for you but for those fellow yids who are breaking halacha. The problem isn't in the fact that you are a gera, but the fact that you decided to hide it, if you hide something it means you aren't comfortable showing it, it means that there is something wrong with it, is there anything wrong with your gerut? of course not! But secrecy isn't the best way to prove it, BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE, AVROHOM AVEINU IS YOUR FATHER, how lucky that is? Keep learning and improving your hebrew, get yourself somefriends in the community, organise tehilim reading in your house, go and share these thoughts w/rabbi or rebetzen, I am sure they have good advices about how to improve your life and situation. Keep learning and keep mitzvot meticuousely, your learning for gerut (that fees to you like smicha) should reflect on your lifestye and chumras. All the best, may you live to see your children become Torah scholars and be the pride of Jews around them. Hi Ruth,
I am sorry because you seem hurt, but…aren’t you being paranoid a little bit?
A convert to Judaism is not called a Jew ( there is no doubdt he is), but a Ger, there is nothing wrong with being a stranger, but it seems that you expect everyone to treat you as a local and you want them to TOTALY forget you status. You are lucky, you are Avrohom aveinu’s chosen daughter, you are different and you should embrace it and not feel inferior by it!
Part of the conversion deal is that no matter what happens there will be ALWAYS people who never consider you a Jewess, if you went through gerut you should be strong enough to reaise that it is just the way it is, it is sad, not for you but for those fellow yids who are breaking halacha.
The problem isn’t in the fact that you are a gera, but the fact that you decided to hide it, if you hide something it means you aren’t comfortable showing it, it means that there is something wrong with it, is there anything wrong with your gerut? of course not! But secrecy isn’t the best way to prove it, BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE, AVROHOM AVEINU IS YOUR FATHER, how lucky that is?
Keep learning and improving your hebrew, get yourself somefriends in the community, organise tehilim reading in your house, go and share these thoughts w/rabbi or rebetzen, I am sure they have good advices about how to improve your life and situation.
Keep learning and keep mitzvot meticuousely, your learning for gerut (that fees to you like smicha) should reflect on your lifestye and chumras.
All the best, may you live to see your children become Torah scholars and be the pride of Jews around them.

]]> By: The Dude http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/#comment-166 The Dude Thu, 12 Oct 2006 20:03:22 +0000 http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/#comment-166 If it makes you feel any better, unfortunately our communities are full of people who are self-centered and judgmental, and are more than willing to demean others within the community (whether born Jewish, converts, Baalei Teshuvah or anything else). People say the most rude and obnoxious things at Shul Board and general meetings withour any consideration for the feelings of others. Our little quirky unique Shul where anyone could feel comfortable has become just like every other Shul in the NY metro area, complete with obnoxious know-it-alls. I believe they are a minority but exert great influence in many communities. If it makes you feel any better, unfortunately our communities are full of people who are self-centered and judgmental, and are more than willing to demean others within the community (whether born Jewish, converts, Baalei Teshuvah or anything else). People say the most rude and obnoxious things at Shul Board and general meetings withour any consideration for the feelings of others. Our little quirky unique Shul where anyone could feel comfortable has become just like every other Shul in the NY metro area, complete with obnoxious know-it-alls. I believe they are a minority but exert great influence in many communities.

]]> By: LC http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/#comment-118 LC Thu, 14 Sep 2006 17:45:31 +0000 http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/#comment-118 Ditto to both prior comments. As far as people you don't know well, though, please give them the benefit of the doubt. As much as being translated for personally when it isn't necessary annoys me, I am very sensitive to it in formal (lecture, speech, etc.) settings because some people *don't* have the Hebrew/Yiddish vocbulary, and no one in the audience should feel left out. A friend and I (FFB and long time BT, respectively) were once guests in someone's home where our bentchers were taken, and replaced with English ones because "those aren't for you". !!! Suffice it to say that we weren't interested in going back, but having re-met these people years later, as members of "their" bit of the Jewish community, they are very nice people, maybe just a bit too quick to jump and assume that someone is clueless, possibly in a misplaced desire to be helpful. They are very involved in kiruv, and apparently their approach works well for those who need it. As far as the long time neighbors and friends who should know better, shame on them. . . . An acquaintance of several years on the road to conversion recently told me that she never intended to convert locally, as there is too much controversy over *which Beis Din* performed the conversion, and she'd rather (1) wait and (2) go to the pickiest Beis Din in Jerusalem so as not to have questions later. In the mean time, she has been welcomed here, as have several others who came to town as (already) "Jews by choice". So maybe you can take heart in knowing there are still places free from the judgementalism of your neck of the woods. Ditto to both prior comments.

As far as people you don’t know well, though, please give them the benefit of the doubt. As much as being translated for personally when it isn’t necessary annoys me, I am very sensitive to it in formal (lecture, speech, etc.) settings because some people *don’t* have the Hebrew/Yiddish vocbulary, and no one in the audience should feel left out.

A friend and I (FFB and long time BT, respectively) were once guests in someone’s home where our bentchers were taken, and replaced with English ones because “those aren’t for you”. !!! Suffice it to say that we weren’t interested in going back, but having re-met these people years later, as members of “their” bit of the Jewish community, they are very nice people, maybe just a bit too quick to jump and assume that someone is clueless, possibly in a misplaced desire to be helpful. They are very involved in kiruv, and apparently their approach works well for those who need it.

As far as the long time neighbors and friends who should know better, shame on them. . . . An acquaintance of several years on the road to conversion recently told me that she never intended to convert locally, as there is too much controversy over *which Beis Din* performed the conversion, and she’d rather (1) wait and (2) go to the pickiest Beis Din in Jerusalem so as not to have questions later. In the mean time, she has been welcomed here, as have several others who came to town as (already) “Jews by choice”. So maybe you can take heart in knowing there are still places free from the judgementalism of your neck of the woods.

]]> By: Miriam http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/#comment-104 Miriam Wed, 06 Sep 2006 19:18:28 +0000 http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/#comment-104 Ruth, you've brought me to tears. I can't post what I want to say here-- to protect a friend's privacy -- maybe I'll email you about it. But I haven't seen this blatent abuse here. I want to jump to the conclusion that you live in a specific metro area, because unfortunately, there are whole communities of Jews in that area who have forgotten how to be Jewish, who have forgotten derech eretz and ahavas yisroel. I hope there's some way you can get out of town, even for a visit, because I think it might be helpful to you. Ruth, you’ve brought me to tears. I can’t post what I want to say here– to protect a friend’s privacy — maybe I’ll email you about it. But I haven’t seen this blatent abuse here. I want to jump to the conclusion that you live in a specific metro area, because unfortunately, there are whole communities of Jews in that area who have forgotten how to be Jewish, who have forgotten derech eretz and ahavas yisroel. I hope there’s some way you can get out of town, even for a visit, because I think it might be helpful to you.

]]> By: projgen http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/#comment-103 projgen Tue, 05 Sep 2006 21:32:42 +0000 http://ruth.wordpress.com/2006/09/05/forever-a-stranger/#comment-103 I follow - very strongly - this mitzvot: 'Love the convert' (Deuteronomy 10:19) (http://www.chabad.org/kids/article.asp?AID=8610), as well as 'You shall not oppress a convert' (Exodus 23:9). I am so sorry you have to deal with these challenges. You shouldn't have to, and the people around you are wrong. Simply wrong. It is a chillul Hashem the way you are being treated. I have a friend who is about to go before the Bet Din, and she is terrified of not being accepted by the community after the Bet Din approves her conversion. I have a great deal of respect for anyone who goes through a halachic conversion. It's incredibly hard work, and I believe their neshama glows more brightly than anyone born Jewish. I've chosen to be observant, but I didn't choose to be Jewish. Hardly anyone questions my observance (but I *do* have people question my kashrut. Not everyone will eat in my house.) and that just isn't fair. I don't have any suggestions or advice, but please know, not everyone approves your neighbours' behaviours, and not everyone acts like them. Perhaps you (or your husband) could talk to your rabbi? Maybe he'd be willing to give a d'var on this mitzvah. Good luck, and many hugs to you. I follow – very strongly – this mitzvot: ‘Love the convert’ (Deuteronomy 10:19) (http://www.chabad.org/kids/article.asp?AID=8610), as well as ‘You shall not oppress a convert’ (Exodus 23:9).

I am so sorry you have to deal with these challenges. You shouldn’t have to, and the people around you are wrong. Simply wrong. It is a chillul Hashem the way you are being treated. I have a friend who is about to go before the Bet Din, and she is terrified of not being accepted by the community after the Bet Din approves her conversion.

I have a great deal of respect for anyone who goes through a halachic conversion. It’s incredibly hard work, and I believe their neshama glows more brightly than anyone born Jewish. I’ve chosen to be observant, but I didn’t choose to be Jewish. Hardly anyone questions my observance (but I *do* have people question my kashrut. Not everyone will eat in my house.) and that just isn’t fair.

I don’t have any suggestions or advice, but please know, not everyone approves your neighbours’ behaviours, and not everyone acts like them. Perhaps you (or your husband) could talk to your rabbi? Maybe he’d be willing to give a d’var on this mitzvah. Good luck, and many hugs to you.

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